Hi guys! I’m writing this on May 25, 2026. I just had an endoscopy on Friday, May 22. I learned some unfortunate news – I may have cancer in my pancreas. Regardless of the finalization of this diagnosis, I’m just glad to have answers. I want it to be known by my friends and family, regardless of the outcome, I’m not sad about this news. I’m angry. I’m angry because it took a long time to finally get answers after years and months of dismissive doctors who claimed I was too anxious, overweight and not eating the right diet.
I won’t lie, I’m not ‘healthy’ or even close to the description of that word. I’m currently fluctuating weight between 230lbs-250lbs. I have no information on the how or the why about the weight changes I’ve struggled with now for the last couple of months. It’s made it difficult to maintain fitting clothing – everything becomes either too loose or too tight. I love vegetables and prefer to eat meats like chicken, fish or seafood – I avoid beef or pork when possible. I avoid most sweets like candies, cakes, ice cream, etc – because foods like these, especially sugary ones, can make me sick. On the subject, as of late, I’ve been struggling more and more to find what foods I can or cannot tolerate. It seems now that, despite my efforts to narrow it down, I cannot determine what will or will not upset my stomach. A food that might upset my stomach today might not upset my stomach tomorrow.
I’m taking my days one day at a time. I’m working and unfortunately bedrotting when I’m not working, simply from the pain in my stomach and back. As most of those close to me know, I’m a computer technician for the usual 9-5 type job. I spend my days fixing everyone’s computer problems. I love what I do for work, but when you’re critically ill like I’ve been, you learn quickly that the ‘normal’ lifestyle becomes harder and harder to maintain. I’m trying to stay strong, mentally and physically. That is difficult, especially when I’m in constant discomfort or pain from the issues with my back and stomach/digestion.
For those that made it to the end of my first post, thanks for reading!
I intend for this site to be my personal venting space – yelling into the void and hoping it doesn’t yell back.
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